A Dozen Cavities Disappeared

We noticed the grey spots in our toddler's premolars a couple months after the teeth erupted, but just brushed them a bit more and hoped for the best. A couple months later, they looked worse, so I took him to a dentist. The dentist had a happy, calm way of talking, which was nice. Levi was calm too and allowed the dental exam just fine, even though he was really shy and a little scared.

Except it really threw me off when the dentist happily, calmly, told me that Levi had cavities on each premolar and on most of the incisors, front and back and probably between the teeth as well. At least ten or twelve cavities, he said, and he would need x-rays to check the spots between the teeth that he suspected were decaying as well. He wanted to set up a surgery appointment at the Children's Hospital to destroy them all at once, and also get those x-rays and a cleaning in while the child was drugged into submission (??!!). Anyway, that's not the way we do things with Levi. Sometimes you have to force kids to do stuff, but sometimes consent and respect are really important, especially if they are scared.

That aside, the idea of using general anesthesia so casually on such a tiny person disturbed us, especially after a little reading up, so we said no. Really, the surgery idea was wholly preposterous for a few reasons, but the point is that we decided to get a second opinion and look into other options.

I read Cure Tooth Decay by Ramiel Nagel. Matthew dug into academic dentistry articles (I'm grateful to him), and we both learned about other things we could do to manage the situation. Minimally Invasive Dentistry is supported by the research and literature, but not as profitable for dentists and not very popular (yet). We had a few meetings to determine exactly what we were going to do (there are way more suggestions than anyone can actually implement), and it was stressful, but we went ahead.

I had a hard time finding another pediatric dentist because a lot of practices in town aren't accepting new patients, or don't accept two-year-olds because they are so little. I made a new appointment, but had to cancel it, then that dentist moved away or something... Three months went by, oops.

We took Levi to his new dentist last week and again he behaved well for the exam again. The dentist said he has no cavities, none at all! Just "really deep grooves, little pits on the incisors, and lots of stains." I told her the other dentist described those grooves and pits as "soft." She said, "well, they are hard." Which is exactly what would theoretically happen if his teeth had succeeded in remineralizing, but wow! We are astonished! I showed her the papers from the crazy driller dentist and she didn't want to say anything except that she didn't perform that exam, but she admitted that maybe they had indeed recalcified.

We're THRILLED. I'm really shocked. The decay was visible and looked awful, so it's amazing to know the unconventional stuff we did actually worked.

Just a quick run-down: we did a LOT of things, mostly dietary.

-We cut out as much phytic acid from the diet as possible. Levi went from eating oats or oatmeal daily to almost never. We switched to white grains with the exception of the sprouted whole wheat flour I add to our bread dough.
-We stopped letting him snack on dried fruit, another really big change. Raisins had been a staple.
-We brushed at least twice daily, one time with a fluoridated toothpaste. I flossed him a couple times, surely that counts for something, hahah. Before May, I didn't even stress if we missed a day entirely. Not anymore!
-On that note, the first dentist applied a topical fluoride treatment, and the second one did too. We also drink city tap water, as we did all along.
-We became really strict about not allowing anything except water after bedtime tooth-brushing. I had previously never put any thought or effort into that whatsoever.
-According to the Cure Tooth Decay book,  the most important thing we did was supplement our diet with cod liver oil. We got really lucky because our kid likes the fishy-tasting stuff, and requests a spoonful if I forget.
-We use an expensive oral probiotic, ProBio Max DDS
-We also added daily high-vitamin butter oil (ghee from cows that ate fast-growing grass in late spring), and fat-soluble vitamins from high-quality animal sources (grass-fed dairy, pasture-raised eggs, organic meats, etc.) This was the most delicious and appealing aspect of the new plan, and truly enjoyable.
-I have cooked with organic bone broth whenever I can think to do so. According to what we read, we're supposed to be eating a lot more bone broth than we succeeded in doing, but I gave it my best effort. There were a couple weeks where I gave him a tiny mug with warm broth daily, but he didn't love it and often wasted half of it, so I stopped and just made soups and stuff.

Looking at that list, I realize we did actually make a pretty big effort to help Levi's teeth. But at the beginning of the process I felt confused and depressed about the whole thing, so I write this down to maybe help someone else. I really had no idea we would succeed. I just thought we would try to slow down the decay until he was old enough for other treatments. This is SO MUCH BETTER.
Also, it was delicious. I love the organic dairy.

I have my dentist appointment next week. I had one cavity last time, my first. Will they say it is gone? ;-)

Stop telling moms they have their hands full

I recently spent the day at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, wandering around some cool exhibits with my friend's kinds while she had a meeting in another part of the museum. It was actually pretty easy since we used her double stroller and my toddler conveniently fit inside with the other two. For the Prehistoric Journey, I put the baby in a carrier on my back and held the toddlers' hands (ages 1.5 and 3). That was probably the most difficult bit, and it wasn't very difficult. Most of the time, they were chilling in the stroller, content and quiet and eating snacks and talking about animals.

I felt incredulous that in literally every exhibit, some older person felt the need to tell me I had my hands full. I did not have my hands full. Literally, figuratively, whatever, I just didn't. Since then, I've mentioned this story to other mothers with multiple children and they say this is just the normal thing for strangers to say.

I am so confused why this is the normal comment. You have your hands full? I can't even tell if it's a respectful compliment or a bit of schadenfreude from someone who doesn't have kids.

First, let me say, it's not a very nice comment. It felt like people were saying I had too many kids with me to handle. Beyond the judgy nuances, it's just not true. Maybe if they had been badly behaved the comment would make more sense, but as I said, they were quiet and reclined and just happy to be at the museum with a granola bar.

Next, it's a cliche and possibly indicates people have never thought much about what they're saying. So that's a good reason to just hold it inside. Anyway, I personally don't really like being addressed by strangers for no reason.

May I suggest everyone consider switching to just a quiet smile (I do like that). Or if you're the type that feels impelled to say things to moms you don't know, how about saying something nice? Here are some great examples:

"So cute!"

"They're having fun!"

"Looking good."

Now, the other side of the issue is when moms actually do have their hands full and may be a bit overwhelmed by children. I still think "you have your hands full" is a stupid thing to say to a stranger in public. Either say nothing, say something kind, or say something complimentary. These are the basic rules of how to be polite.

For example, when my baby was six months old, I carried him through a Buy Buy Baby store in my Boba wrap (hands-free mommy!). I saw a woman pushing newborn twins in a cart. First, I stared at the cute babies, obviously. Later I saw that one was crying pretty hard and the mother was fumbling to prepare him a bottle on the fly. Flustered, she dropped a scoop of formula powder on the floor. Clearly, this was a "you have your hands full" moment.

Personally, I know that bottle-feeding is WAY HARDER than natural feeding. My newborn rarely latched and I spent the first few weeks bottle-feeding him pumped milk around the clock. It was exhausting. I felt so much empathy for this woman that I just had to walk over and say SOMETHING. I said, "Hi, can I give you a hand?" And she said yes. So, there are rare circumstances where offering to help is an appropriate way to interact as well.

As a mom who will probably someday be "one of those" with more children than our culture deems "normal," I'd like us all to move beyond telling women they have their hands full. It's just not very kind. Thank you!