Hymn for the Mountaintop

Sometimes the scariest things in life are the most rewarding. The symbol of ascending a mountain has been speaking well to me about it recently.

This is about biking eight miles up a mountain in the dark before sunrise. It's about scary journeys. It's about traveling a long way in the cold, feeling the warmth of sunrise, welcoming the morning. Cresting the canyon and seeing the glaciers and snowfields in the Western mountains. Realizing you've arrived an a place of astonishing beauty. Realizing your new life is turning out to be filled with incredible blessings.

This is about moving to Colorado.

Psalm 73:6

My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart
   and my portion forever. 

2 Samuel 22 A Song of Praise

 ¹ David sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. ² He said:    “The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
 ³ my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
   from violent people you save me.
 ⁷ “In my distress I called to the LORD;
   I called out to my God.
From his temple he heard my voice;
   my cry came to his ears.
¹⁰ He parted the heavens and came down;
   dark clouds were under his feet.
¹¹ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
   he soared on the wings of the wind.
¹² He made darkness his canopy around him—
   the dark rain clouds of the sky.
¹³ Out of the brightness of his presence
   bolts of lightning blazed forth.
¹⁴ The LORD thundered from heaven;
   the voice of the Most High resounded.
 ¹⁷ “He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
   he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁸ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
   from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁹ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
   but the LORD was my support.
²⁰ He brought me out into a spacious place;
   he rescued me because he delighted in me.
 ²¹ “The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
   according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
²² For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
   I am not guilty of turning from my God.
²³ All his laws are before me;
   I have not turned away from his decrees.
²⁴ I have been blameless before him
   and have kept myself from sin.
²⁵ The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
   according to my cleanness in his sight.
 ²⁶ “To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
   to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
²⁷ to the pure you show yourself pure,
   but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
²⁸ You save the humble,
   but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.
²⁹ You, LORD, are my lamp;
   the LORD turns my darkness into light.
³⁴ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
   he causes me to stand on the heights.
³⁵ He trains my hands for battle;
   my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
 ⁴⁷ “The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
   Exalted be my God, the Rock, my Savior!

The Summit of Green Mountain, Boulder

Lord (I Don't Know)

So much hurt! Everyone is asking, "why does it have to be this hard?"

 

Newsboys: Lord (I Don't Know)

Dear Dad,

Did you know, as a child I used to feel sorry for other kids because they had someone other than you for a father? It's true.
Thanks for always making sure I am well-provided with everything I need to do my best, from bringing me home from the hospital (even though you didn't know what to do with me) all the way through college. I notice.
Also, the trip to Camden Hills/Bath/Captain's Fresh Idea (ha ha)/Boothbay/Southport was one of the highlights of my summer (even if I didn't come back with a sweet red convertible BMW). Mostly because I love just being with you. Thanks for treating me right.
Happy, happy birthday! I wish we could all be together today!
Love you and miss you, daddy
Mary Alisa

Ambitions for this Summer

Or, mainly, a Summer Reading List, and other assorted goals.

I want to read:

-Nourishing Traditions, Sally Fallon
-The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis
-Post Captain, Patrick O'Brian.
-Created to be His Help Meet, Debi Pearl
(Already begun, and not sure of the extent to which I agree)
 -Crossing to Safety, Wallace Stegner

-What to Eat, Marion Nestle

-The Gift of Asher Lev, Chaim Potok 
(I had no idea My Name is Asher Lev had a sequel)
 
-Honoring the Body: Meditations on a Christian Practice, Stephanie Paulsell

-Receiving the Day: Christian Practices for Opening the Gift of Time, Dorothy Bass
(A book about "receiving each day as a gift from God... She encourages readers to open their hearts every morning in quiet thanks to God for life, to learn to structure their lives with flexible regularity, to use their time for things that matter and to live today confidently, without fear. She also discusses the benefits of keeping the Sabbath, observing the Christian year with all its special holidays and religious celebrations, and counting days and moments with an eye on eternity." Sounds good.)

-Commodore Hornblower, C.S. Forester. 
(Classic adventures. The Hornblower Saga never gets old, no matter how many times you re-read it. Bonus: happy memories of Dad reading it out loud to us)

-The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley
 (well, re-read, really. It was my favorite book when I was about nine)

-The Percy Jackson books? Maybe? The prospect makes me happy, but we'll see.

And more bits of the Apocrypha, but I'm not sure which yet.

Also, one of my grandmother's Sewing Circle friends will hopefully be teaching me to weave fabric on a floor loom. This is so cool I can hardly believe it might actually happen.


Other aspirations include:
-lots of experimental cooking from scratch, from whole foods
-teaching Ali to sail, one on one. We will pretend to be Pellew and Hornblower.
-carrying my sketchbook around on hikes in Islesboro, and producing a lot of drawings
-making my own lip balm

Photos of some inspiration: the work of Sheila Hicks. Saw an exhibition at Phillips Academy when I was in Andover this winter, and I am still in awe. I want to learn more about textiles!

I'm Like My Mom

I found this photo recently in my parent's wedding/honeymoon/newlywed album. It's my mom on our beach in Maine in June, 1981. She was twenty.

It kinda blew my mind, because it's so similar to this photo of me at age twenty. I'm standing in the exact same spot on our beach (well, I am slightly to the left, if you note the rocks). The tide is even the same.

I'm a lot like my mom and becoming more like her all the time. She improves me a lot. She used read to us continually (three books per child for each naptime and bed time), so I was reading and writing as a toddler, and I attribute a lot of my academic success to her. But she made fun of me so I wouldn't get too nerdy, so that's good, too.

My mom taught me to cook, sing, take care of babies, and play nice. She made sure I had eight years of classical piano lessons and a decade of clarinet. My loves of peanut butter and pilates and baking bread all come from her. She's always up for taking a walk, going sailing, hiking on the beach, reading the Bible in the sun, or watching an hour of Pride and Prejudice.  She lets me borrow her beauty products and stylish shoes. She taught me to draw, wear funky jewelry, and weave fabric. Does it get any cooler than that?

No. It doesn't. She's the epitome of cool.

I love you, mommy.

Reminiscing on Solomon's Ladder

Dr. Padelford (our Bible study teacher) told us this story, and I think everybody should have a chance to hear it. It's really good.

He was in Ethiopia preaching a sermon on Song of Songs in a church that was one big, airy  room with three walls and just openings for windows. At one point, he focused particularly on the imagery of doves in the book to show that Solomon and the Shulammite find peace in each other (their names, by the way, are associated with Shalom, right?). He drew the parallel that we should look to Christ as our peace, and that we need to live at peace with him.

So, for instance, Song 1:15

"Behold, you are beautiful, my love;

behold, you are beautiful;

your eyes are doves."

Suddenly, a pair of doves flew into the church and landed in the rafters together, cooing gently to each other.

Can you believe it? Magical! That really happened!

Bernard of Clairvaux, Sermon 33 "The Mystical Noontide," Commentary On the Song of Songs

"O true noontide, fullness of warmth and of light, abiding-place of the sun, which exterminates all shadows, dries up marshes, and drives forth pestilential odours! O perpetual solstice, and day that declines not! O mid-day light, enjoying at once the freshness of spring, the beauty of summer, the fruitfulness and abundance of autumn, and, not to omit anything, the deep rest and unbroken quiet of winter! Or, at least, if you prefer it so, it is the winter only that disappears and is wanting. 'Show to me ' (says the Bride) 'this spot of brightness, peace, and abundance so great, that ...  I, too, [may] be found worthy to contemplate Thee in Thy light and Thy beauty by means of a transport and rapture of soul; and to behold Thee feeding Thy flock with fuller abundance and more complete security than now.'

For here, too, Thou dost feed Thy flock, but not to the full; nor is it permitted to Thee to repose, but it is needful to stand and watch over them because of terrors of the night. Alas! [here] the light is not clear, nor the nourishment full, nor the dwelling safe; therefore tell me where Thou feedest, where Thou makest Thy flock to rest at noon. Blessed dost Thou call me when I hunger and thirst after righteousness (Matt. v. 6). What is this in comparison with the happiness of those who are satisfied with the goodness of Thy House (Ps. lxv. 4), who eat and rejoice in the sight of God, yea, who exceedingly rejoice? (Ps. lxviii. 3 ) But, and if I suffer anything for righteousness' sake, Thou sayest again that I am none the less blessed (1 Pet. iii. 14). And it is certain that to have nourishment where you apprehend suffering is to experience enjoyment, but not security. To have nourishment and suffering together, what is that but a grievous joy? All things that I possess here fall short of being perfect; many are beyond my prayer, nor is any safe. When wilt Thou fill me with joy with Thy Countenance? (Ps. xv 11, Douay) Thy Face, Lord, will I seek (Ps. xxvii. 8). Thy Countenance is a noonday to me. Tell me where Thou feedest, where Thou makest Thy flock to rest at noon. I know sufficiently where thou feedest without resting; tell me where Thou doest both the one and the other. I am not ignorant where at other times Thou doest this, but I would know where Thou doest this at noon. For during the time of my mortal life, and in the place of my pilgrimage, I have been accustomed to be spiritually fed, and to feed others, with nourishment from Thee, in the Law, in the Prophets, in the Psalms. Thou dost feed us also in the pastures of the Gospels, and with the Apostles I have rested. Often, also, I have sought, and have been able to find, spiritual nourishment for me and mine in the actions, the words, and the writings of the Saints. Still more frequently (because it was very close at hand to me) I have eaten the bread of sorrow, and drunk of the wine of regret; my tears have been my meat day and night, while they daily say unto me, Where is now thy God? (Ps. xlii. 3.) I have, indeed, been nourished from Thy Table: for Thou hast prepared a Table before me against them that trouble me (Ps. xxiii. 5), and from it, I repeat, I receive somewhat by the gift of Thy mercy, which imparts comfort and consolation, as often as my soul is sorrowful and disquieted within me. Those pastures I know, and following Thee, my Shepherd, have often sought them; but tell me, I entreat, those which I know not."


Online Text of Sermons on the Song of Songs, Saint Bernard of Clairvaux 

Cistercian Fontenay Abbey, France